who do you allow to speak into your life?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I can't help but send you off into the weekend thinking about this too...

Who do you allow to speak into your life? Who do you let pour their thoughts, words, energy into your days?

It matters. Do you realize how much it matters?

Over the last year I have spent significant time digging into the heart of who I am and what I believe about myself. I have done some deep emotional work with the Lord seeking to understand a lot of junk that swims around in my head. And one of the things that I kept coming back to as I did this deep heart work, is recognizing where these lies and limiting beliefs and fears stem from. And consistently, almost without fail, I realized a lot of these things were spoken over me, spoken to me, spoken of me. A lot of what I had come to play in my mind about myself actually came from the mouth of others. 

Somehow I allowed the world's words, the influence of others, to be louder then the Truth of who I am as an adopted daughter of the One True King. 

As much as I hate to admit this truth about myself, as much as I hate to admit it here before you, I know that a writer's job is to write out the wrestle. For it is in the wrestling out loud that other's can better grasp their own disconnect. It is in my vulnerability that other's can see. 

And so I ask you again, Who do you allow to speak into your life? Who do you let pour their thoughts, words, energy into your days?

Because it matters.

Of course we are called to have space for everyone; to love everyone, even {and especially} the broken. BUT there is a difference between serving and receiving. We are called to serve everyone, but we are not encouraged to receive from everyone. 

For far too long I have received from a few who weren't life-givers, cheerleaders, hope-dealers, truth-speakers. In fact there have been a few individuals pouring into my life who just weren't healthy at all. I didn't give them much space, but the space they took, even that was too much. Those that don't fill our cup, those that consistently drain it, our hearts need protection from them. We need healthy boundaries with those that are unhealthy. We can serve them, but we should not receive from them. You wouldn't look in a cup of gross dirty water and then knowingly drink it, would you? We need to be wise in who we allow to fill our cup, to influence our heart, to speak into our mind. 

Make note of how you feel when you leave someone's presence, especially someone who you are giving freedom to speak into your life. If you leave their presence and consistently feel drained or hurt or discouraged or insecure. This is telling you something. If you leave someone's presence and feel depressed or angry or guilty. This is telling you something.  Do a heart-check. Pray. Journal. Talk with your Lord about this person. Here are a few questions to ask the Lord in your time with Him: Is this my issue/sin making me feel this way or is this their issue/sin making me feel this way? Is this person giving me life or is this person draining life from me? Give the Lord space and time to answer you. Pray. Read His Word. Be before Him. He will show you. 

Sometimes those speaking words and feelings of pain into our life are those closest to us. This is when it gets hard, this is when it gets heavy. But I have come to accept that when we allow someone to speak into our life who isn't healthy themselves, we begin to reflect them; we soak in their words, we are pulled down into their murky water. They make us unhealthy with them. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to knowingly waste even one day of my life in an unhealthy spot. 

At the foundation of a healthy follower of Christ should stand the Word of God. The Word of God should be the most powerful influence in our days. Outside of that, wise-counsel and life-giving truth-believing godly friends and mentors should be one of the few other influencers in our days. Build friendships with people who are truth-speakers, life-givers, hope-dealers. Surround yourself with people who will cheer for you to follow God's call on your life. Surround yourself with people who are full of joy and full of light. Those are the ones who should be speaking into your life. Release those who hand you a cup of murky water. Serve them, love them, but politely hand their cup back to them, and send them on their way. Don't let them speak into your life. 

Let's boldly bring those pouring into our lives before our Lord. Let's ask Him to show us who can be granted permission to speak into our lives. May the peace and truth of Christ rule in your heart, mind, and soul this weekend, my friends. Do the hard heart-work necessary to root out the lies of the enemy placed there to hold you back.