MANDY SCARR
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When you want to redecorate {but you have zero money to do so...}

10/10/2019

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A friend and I were messaging back and forth the other day. She was asking me for some decorating advice. I shared my ideas and she quickly replied with "Oh yea, but I have zero money to do this!".  I have SO been there before! 

For years we were paying down student loans. We didn't have the extra money, yet decorating was/is truly a hobby of mine. I love creating a beautiful space with which to make my family feel warm and loved and thought of. I truly believe in the power of a beautiful space to bring about depth and intimacy. Creating a beautiful space was important to me, despite our lack of decorating budget, and so I figured out how to make it happen. 

Here are some ideas for how you can still decorate {or redecorate} your home despite having a zero budget:

1. Sell stuff in order to buy new stuff - There were seasons where I wasn't able to spend one penny outside of our budget on anything other then necessary expenses. In those seasons I made it my mission to sell things we already had. I would take down things I no longer wanted off the wall and sell them, I would go through old toys or old books. I gathered whatever we didn't need any longer in order to sell. J and I had an agreement that anything I made from selling things, I could keep to buy new items for our home. 

2. Ask friends and family and raid your parent's attic - There were times when I told friends what I was looking for and asked them to keep an eye out for it on yard sale sites. I too would offer to take items I knew they weren't going to be using because they upgraded or replaced them. I too raided my parent's attic and basement. Some of the items I absolutely kept for myself (and are still some of my favorite items to this day), others I sold (with my Mom's permission) and was able to use the cash to get new items. 

3. Pick up stuff on the side of the road and refurbish it - You guys, I am totally someone who slows to check out other's trash. I cannot even tell you the amazing finds I've found in trash piles. Many items I've refurbished and kept myself, but other's I've simply resold. I once found 3 amazing barstools on the side of the road next to trash cans. I was able to sell those for over $100! FOR REAL. Don't be afraid to pick the trash. NOW...I will say...don't take a couch or bed or pillows or anything cushy (bed bugs! gah!)...and leave items outside for a little while if you can to let them air out.  I too have made the mistake of picking up items that were smoke covered without realizing it, so a smell test is imperative no matter what the item! Someone else's trash is often my most favorite treasure!

4. Shop at thrift stores  - It does take patience to hunt...but do you have any idea how many treasures you can find at thrift stores?!?! It's AMAZING! I have this deep deep belief that we should always try to buy second-hand first. Truly. Why add to the landfills if we can reuse something already out there? I have seen too many people poor and hungry in this world to care about name-brands. If second-hand makes you turn your nose up, spend some time learning about the world, spend sometime serving other's in the world who have true needs, and I hope this may change your perspective. Too harsh? I don't care. It's truth and this is something I am VERY passionate about. 

5. Ask for gift cards for your birthday or Christmas - If you have friends or family who regularly give you presents for your birthday or Christmas, don't be afraid to sensitively tell them about the mission you are on to "raise funds" to redecorate. It never hurts to let them know, maybe they'll adjust their gift to help your cause!

5. Host a swap party - I have never actually hosted one of these, but I've always longed to! There are some fantastic ideas for "swap parties" out there. You can host a home decor "swap party" where all friends bring items they no longer want or use, and you simply trade items. Any extra items left can get donated to a local thrift store at the end of the night. This is a great way to exchange  items with those at the party, making way for a home refresher for all involved! 

6. Give of your gifts - Trade your giftings (home organizing, tutoring, baby sitting, gardening, hand-lettering, staging, etc.) for money or services towards your project. Don't be afraid to offer your gifts to others in exchange for commission. You may already have a full-time job outside of the home, or maybe you're the full-time caregiver for your kiddos; but having a side hustle a few hours a week may be just enough to help add to your decor budget and make a huge difference. 

In the end, friends, be creative! Even if you do have money to purchase new decor, that doesn't mean you shouldn't seek to be resourceful! My home is made up of an eclectic array of items, each with it's own story of where I got it, how I found it and refurbished it, or who gave it to me! I LOVE that about our home. Sure every item isn't my absolute favorite as some were hand-me-downs or refurbished items....but one thing I know to be true; it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful (as The Nester says). 

What other tips would you add to this list?
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His story in her: Rebecca Ruby

10/7/2019

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Oh, friends. The day is finally here. And I know it's just the beginning. 

Today I launch a project that has been on my heart for six months. Today step out in faith. Today I share His heart and story.  Today I ask you to join me. 

Yesterday I shared my heart and introduced this passion project I am embarking on. If you missed that, will you go here and read why? Read why I believe we need to hear the stories of others. Read why I believe stories like the one you will watch below are life and hope and beauty. Read why I know and believe Rebecca can teach us so very much. 

This woman. She is breathtaking. And I cannot wait for you to meet her. 

​Welcome to His story in her, with my dear friend and neighbor, Rebecca Ruby. 

Isn't she lovely?? 

Won't you please take a moment to leave some encouragement for Rebecca in the comments.

Join this journey by signing up to get notifications of new interviews in your inbox {below}.  I am excited to continue to introduce you to some amazing people; everyday people with stories that point to Him; the very Author.
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Everyone has a story to tell... {Introducing my passion project}

10/6/2019

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I don't know what you believe, but I have this deep belief that every single person I come into contact with has an incredible story to tell.  I believe that every single person has been shaped and molded through this life in a way that is unique to them, and we can learn greatly from hearing their heart and story. 
I believe that the most beautiful souls have been refined by the fire of suffering and pain.
I believe that on this journey closer to Jesus, I need to sit at the feet of those who have walked so closely with Him that they breathe His praises with each spoken word. 

To have walked through suffering makes us more closely reflect the character and hope of Christ. And when someone has looked suffering in the eye, if they are a willing participant in the process, they will walk away with new maturity, new wisdom, and new hope to offer those around them. It is my belief that those "wise old owls" we come across in our Church or Bible study that have a gentle and quiet spirit about them have suffered much, and have found peace and comfort in the arms of the One who carried them through it. 

I do not see suffering and pain and brokenness as a bad thing. The enemy and the world want us to believe that suffering is a reflection of our doing or His neglect. It is neither. It is simply a result of sin in this world,  and our brokenness and need for Him. We are guaranteed suffering this side of heaven, and that isn't a reflection of us or of Him.  I see if as a refining fire - a place where the Lord's favor rests. I see suffering as a gift from our Lord, a place where He brings us before Him, the veil of separation clearly torn, in order to draw our hearts to a place of depth that is rooted in Him. Suffering is painful, but it's not punishment or a lack of favor. It truly is a gift - even though it never feels like such in the midst of it. 

The beauty of pain and hard places is that there is opportunity for God to be glorified and for redemption to be shared. Testimonies of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness can flow from a story of pain. He can be magnified when we are carried out of the pit by His strength and hand. Our weakness is made perfect in His strength, and our refining occurs when we humble our hearts to His story through us. 
Redemption stories are life to us. 
The very life of a Believer in Jesus is one of redemption. Our every breath is a reflection of redemption. I too believe that our lives are sprinkled with mini daily stories of redemption. Our every day, our every situation can be seen through a lens of His kindness and mercy, of His tenderness towards us - the tenderness of a Father who longs to rescue wandering hearts and redeem brokenness.  If we allow our eyes to be open, we can see His rescuing presence laced throughout our every moment.
I believe I have been asked to share His story in others. 
I am embarking on a passion project. This project is about helping other's share their story, His story in them. And tomorrow it will premier.  For months now I have felt this nudge from the Lord to magnify His story in others. To give others a platform to share what He has done, what He has redeemed. Like a potter tenderly molding His clay, our Lord is eager to take our brokenness and make it into something beautiful. And beautiful is exactly what I've found. 

I'm stepping into a passion project of sharing video discussions I have with some dear friends {or friends of friends}. These friends are from different age groups and different seasons. They are at different places of maturity in their relationship with Jesus. They have different stories and different experiences. But ultimately they all have one thing in common; they have hope to proclaim and they long to give God the glory through it all.  Their stories aren't wrapped perfectly in a bow, they may still be wadding deeply in the hard, but in the end they long to point eyes to the One who carried them through.

Tomorrow morning I will share with you my friend Rebecca's story. She is an amazing woman who has been shaped by His story in her. Her story isn't done, I believe her story is just beginning, but it is one that we must pause and hear. She has seen her Lord show up in such tender and kind and beautifully small and big and intimate ways; and she has a story that can change you if you let it. 

Will you join me as I interview my dear sweet friend, Rebecca? Come back tomorrow and let's sit down with her and hear her story. Her redemption story...
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How to Plan for Intentional Conversations

10/1/2019

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You guys. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty sure a part of me dies every time a conversation simmers at the surface discussing the weather or other similarly surfacey topics. Surface conversations are not my jam. Let's have real connection, let's talk about joys and struggles and hopes and dreams and wrestles and beliefs and everythinggggggg else that is real and deep and honest and true and hard. How about we DON'T talk about the weather. Ever.  {unless we are meeting at a playground or pool...then we can briefly touch upon the weather ;) }. 

I LONG to hear from the heart of those I'm in relationship with. I long to share my heart too. We were made for connection, we were made for relationship. Our hearts long for it. 

Somewhere along the way, years ago, I learned that depth and vulnerability often requires a level of intentionality. It's not always easy to steer a conversation below the surface, especially if the other person isn't necessarily going to dive there on their own. I learned that I needed to prepare for conversations beforehand. I needed to think about who I was spending time with, and what parts of their life and story and heart I was eager to know. I wanted to come into time with others with an open heart and eager ears and eyes as I engaged in conversation. And so....I realized I needed to do what I do so very well in other areas of my life; I needed to plan intentionally for my time with others. 

Now for my free-spirited friends, this may sound ludicrous to you, and that's ok. We can still be friends ;) But I knew myself. I knew that if I wanted to give my all to someone, I needed to be fully present. I needed to be able to fully listen. I needed to be able to ask good questions. I needed to be able to come to the table with a heart open to their needs. And in order for me to do this, I needed to spend time beforehand preparing. So how do I do this?  Three steps. 

1. I pray. I pray for this friend leading up to our time together. I pray for our hearts to be melded together. I pray for conversation to be rich and meaningful, I pray for vulnerability for both of us. I pray for the Holy Spirit to lead. 

2. I prepare talking points or questions based on areas of their life I'd love to lean into. Maybe I make note to ask about their recent vacation, maybe I make note to ask how their Mom is doing because I knew she had recently had surgery, or maybe I write down some areas of pain that that friend has shared with me before and I know I want to make sure to follow up with them in that space. I keep a note on my phone as I lead into that planned time. I come back to that note in the days {and even minutes} leading up to our time together.  Friends that know this about me have shared that they feel thought of. {Others probably just think I'm checking my text messages as I reach check my phone notes ;)}.

3. I intentionally think through how I want to present myself in our time together. This isn't about putting on a mask or creating a show or being anything other then myself. BUT...when I've intentionally thought about how I want to show up - full of energy, present, focused, etc. - I am able to show up that way. It's just like an athlete who envisions crossing the finish-line. They picture it. I picture how I intend to present myself in the conversation, and therefore I'm less scattered and show up present and focused on them during our time together. 

Now, this doesn't happen for those few friends who live around the corner and I see them daily at the bus stop. And of course I don't do this 100% of the time....I'm SO very far from perfect. But if I have set aside time to sit and have tea with someone, or we're going to be spending time standing together at a playground while our little cuties run around, yes, I absolutely try to pray deeply into our time together, prepare some questions or talking points, and think through how I will posture myself towards that person. Does this go as planned every time? Of course not {especially when kids are involved}....BUT I try, and I find that intentionally leaning into friendships like this is so much more life-giving for me then just winging it. 

And what about those friends who don't go there? What about those people who stone-wall you from going below the surface? Yes, I have those people in my life as well. Those people? I just love them well. I try to ask intentional questions, I try to go there, but I won't drag them below the surface kicking and screaming. I respect their wishes and remain at the surface. {Meanwhile, however, I may be slowly dying inside :)} It is hard when you are in relationship with people who desire a different kind of friendship. It absolutely is. But that's part of relationship, living and loving together, even when it is hard.


Living intentionally isn't about being perfect. Living intentionally isn't about doing it perfectly all the time. Living intentionally IS about showing up with a heart postured towards living fully present and engaged in whatever the Lord has placed before us; relationships included. 

How do you intentionally lean into friendships? I would absolutely love to hear. 

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On the road to Debt Freedom: Tips for your journey

9/13/2019

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If you’ve been following our story, you know that God led us to a pretty drastic move to pay off the remainder of our student loans. He had us sell our house and we are now renters instead of homeowners. We have not -  even for one second - regretted or questioned this decision. The Lord was so clearly directing this path, and it is a financial decision that has not only brought about much relief today, but it truly has set us up for a future full of incredible financial freedom!  We are so very grateful.

We've been married for 10 years. For that entire time we've been working towards paying off debt {until now that is!!!}. Over the course of those 10 years, we got really good at finding ways to live frugally. We truly believe in living lives focused on stewarding our finances for His glory.  This means that we {as much as possible} live from a place of only spending money when there is a NEED, not just a want. Even now, living in a place of abundance instead of scarcity, we are choosing to continue to live that way. Sure, we do take a few liberties now that we are in a completely different financial situation, but for the most part we are choosing to continue with a lifestyle of living FAR within our means. We believe in stewarding the resources He gives us for HIS glory, not just for our earthly pleasure. 

 I wanted to share some of the ways we've cut our bills and expenses over the years in hopes that this may help you work towards your goal of debt freedom...

  1. Choose your shopper wisely - ​​ My husband tends to be the one who sticks to the list most carefully. He doesn't stray and he's very attentive to how much each item costs. I tend to stray from the list a little. SO...we've made him the shopper. He goes to Aldi, Costco, Target, etc. Shopping is no longer a part of my week {and surprisingly I don't miss it at all!}. J doesn't mind because he knows it's worth his effort to save that money! Now, I do realize that sometimes it's difficult to have a specific person shop because of work schedules, but I would encourage you to do your best to either go together {and be able to hold each other accountable to the list}, or send the person who sticks to the list as often as possible. This has been a HUGE savings for us! ​
  2. Get rid of extras - ​Think of what you really NEED versus what you want. Years ago we cut cable. We've never missed it! We too recently cut Netflix and Hulu. We've never missed it. We rent movies from the library and we've been reading so much more then ever before!  We cut Amazon Prime. We haven't missed it! Would you believe that in the last 6 months every single thing I've ordered has been free shipping anyway! AND it still gets delivered in the two-day window! Prime is not a necessity any longer for shipping. We've wrestled with cutting Costco because truly we don't go often, but for now we've decided to hold on to it. We may cut it in the future. We also changed our phone service a few years ago to Republic Wireless. This phone service is HUGELY reduced because it runs mostly on wi-fi. We literally pay $40 a month for TWO smartphones.  You'd be surprised how all of those subscriptions and memberships can add up. Think through what you really NEED versus what has become comfortable! 
  3. Eat out only for special occasions - Pre-debt freedom we literally went out to eat just 3-4 times a year. Birthdays, anniversaries and *maybe* a Chipotle lunch every 6 months. Eating out is SO costly compared to eating at home. {And don't even get me started on the health benefits of eating at home ;) }. This is an area we intend to indulge in a little bit more now that we are debt-free, but we still intend to not go out more often then once a month. We don't want this luxury to become a norm. We can have fabulous meals and witty conversation at home too :)
  4. Celebrations at home - All of our birthdays are celebrated at home! We don't pay for Chuck E. Cheese for the kid's birthdays, we host parties in our home. I DO NOT judge anyone who does host parties at other locations, NOT AT ALL. But for us...I love hosting people in my home, and we prefer to have easy parties and down-home celebrations. I cherish the memories of having friends and family to my childhood home for birthday celebrations. Simple and special, that's how we hope to do it for our kids too. I too host a lot of celebrations and gatherings at home. My go-to isn't to ask friends to go out, but instead to welcome them here to our home. I can get an entire spread to feed my friends  for the cost of one meal and drink at a restaurant. Plus we then linger longer and snuggle up for deeper conversations {my favorite!}. 
  5. Do it yourself - Don't always call someone! I know that not everyone is handy. I completely get that. But don't be afraid to step back and look at what you need done, and instead decide to try it yourself. There is HUGE personal pride and enjoyment when we accomplish trying something new and succeeding. I LOVE the feeling of accomplishing a home project on my own! Don't just automatically outsource, think through it and see if you {or along with a talented friend!} could accomplish it yourself! OR even offer to pay that friend half of what the contractor would charge...saves you money, makes them some money. Win, win. 
  6. Filter purchases through your spouse - We still do this. I don't buy something without first running it through my man. In this season he usually tells me to "go for it", but I want to make sure that our communication about finances and purchases remains open. Just six months ago I often had to call him to ask his thoughts because we were on this intense mission to pay down debt. Talking about each purchase held me {and him} accountable to our needs versus our wants. Even last week I went shopping with a friend. I did make some purchases, but I called and asked my man's "permission" (I hate using that word...but he asks me too! It's a two-way street!) before wearing those items. Being each other's filter is SO good for accountability in stewarding our finances well! 

Please keep in mind this list is not to make you feel guilty about your financial choices or enjoyed luxuries. This list is intended to help you see areas where you CAN cut expenses that you maybe didn't think was possible or worth it. I can assure you that every little bit you can save is SO extremely helpful in finding financial freedom, and I can assure you that being debt free is worth the fight! 

This is by no means an exhaustive list of ways to cut costs. I could get into tiny tiny details...but this for sure gives you a window into ways we chose to work together to minimize spending and focus on the unified goal of getting debt free as quick as possible. 

I want to encourage you in the fight to financial freedom. It is SO worth it! KEEP GOING! 

Share with me in the comments...what do you do to cut costs???
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When someone judges you...{on Network Marketing and the haters}...

7/10/2019

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There are only two other things that I can think of that can compare to the way social entrepreneurship can shape and grow you; marriage and motherhood. Honestly, it's that sanctifying.

Network Marketing is absolutely a growth incubator. It stretches you and grows you and makes you face your fears and beckons you to step outside of your comfort zone. It encourages you to look at your strengths and your weaknesses, it makes you dig up why you do what you do and why you act the way you act.  One of the biggest growth opportunities is in facing the fear of "what will people think" or even more so, receiving a judgy message or comment from friends and/or family who think that you've been scooped up in a great big "pyramid scheme".

You see, I've received many comments. AND even more so...I have SOOOOOO many people in my life that don't ask. They don't ask how my business is, they don't ask why I'm doing what I'm doing, and often they don't ask how I am for fear that I'll start talking about my business. They just don't say a thing. Which to me feels odd and like there is this elephant in the room they are so eagerly trying to ignore. It's actually kind of hilarious {and at the same time sad}. 

A year ago, this consistently destroyed my sensitive heart. It made me sad. I didn't understand why people wouldn't ask. I didn't understand how they couldn't know my heart and my intentions. I didn't understand why they weren't curious about what I was learning or how I was enjoying this work. And I certainly couldn't understand the comments and messages - often said in passing with sarcasm and pity lathered on top. 

BUT GOD. 

Growth. It's such a beautiful thing. 

Because here's what I've learned.....
No one has the right to question what God has called you to.
I don't know about you and the work you've been called to...but I KNOW God has opened this door for me. He's given me products to share that CHANGE LIVES and He's given me this door to financially make a way to CHANGE LIVES by giving more generously to the causes and people I believe in. I asked Him NOT to make this my path {truly}. He didn't listen.  But now I see why. This path is the beacon by which He is raising me up as a leader, and the beacon by which He's giving me the means to be able to give and serve and go and do.

And now I could weep with gratitude over being called to this work.

Because now I see.  This field is one of honor and service when done with a pure heart directed at the needs of others. 

My Network Marketing business isn't a scheme. It isn't a joke. It isn't me "tricking" my friends into buying from me. It isn't that at all. 

It's a way He's given me to serve others and change lives. Period. 

And although others may judge me, make comments, or remain silent. If The LORD has called me to it, He most certainly is cheering me on and making a way. I live for an audience of ONE, and this path has truly made that so profoundly real and rich and fulfilling. 

A few weeks ago I had an old acquaintance write me the most horrible messages. She put me in a box. She judged my intentions. She was nasty and in no way able to see past her own issues and pain to hear my heart. Like...it was shocking! My husband was all bug-eyed as he read how so very wrong she had summarized what she believed my work to be about. 

A year ago that would have broken me. 

BUT GOD. AND GROWTH. 

NO ONE has the right to question what you have been called to. NO ONE. 

If He's called you to skip college and go to trade school. DO IT. If He's called you to drop out of school and go become a missionary. DO IT. If He's called you to join the military, adopt children, ride your bike across the country, climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, join a Network Marketing company {GASP!}.  If He has called you, if He has made a way,  and if you are truly walking with Him in this life, then no one should stand in your way. Let Him fight for you in the objections. Let Him carry you through the judgments. Let Him love and support you when other's fail to do so in the way you desire.
When other's fail to see your heart, it's more about them then it is about you. 
 I've learned that when other's fail to lean in; when other's fail to take the time to ask why you're doing what you're doing; when other's fail to cheer you on; when other's write nasty texts or make snide comments: It's not about you. It's actually about them. Their woundedness and insecurity is truly being projected onto you. They can't see that, but through eyes of grace, He so easily makes that known to those who are kindred with Him. 

In the last year I've learned to love and pray over those who judge this path He has me on. In that praying the most beautiful thing almost always happens.....I usually develop such insane compassion and empathy towards their heart and the wounds they carry. And that right there, that makes it all worth it. I can love them through whatever they say, however they judge, because in the end, I truly believe this life is about loving other's no matter who they are, what they do, or how they treat me. How could I not? 
My Jesus faced this and so much more.
We love because He first loved us.

And in loving other's in that way, we grow and we change the world. 

​Truly. 
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love and grace

5/5/2019

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Over the last couple of months we have experienced quite possibly the most significant season of answered prayer in our lives thus far. If you've been following along with our journey on social media, you've seen me share over and over again how the Lord just keeps showing up in big ways. For whatever reason, the Lord has chosen this season to unwrap gift after gift of answered prayers before our family. And you know what's amazing? He's been preparing us for this for a while. 

Some of the prayers He's answered recently have been those we've prayed for months and yearrrrs at a time. And honestly, I now see that had He answered those prayers even weeks or days earlier, our hearts wouldn't have been ready for them. His timing is perfect and His lessons are always timely.  

I believe that we all have an orphan spirit, meaning we are born separated from our Father in Heaven and our hearts long to be brought back into a right relationship with Him. 
He longs to hold our heart and devotion. 
Even after we come to know our Jesus and we devote our heart, soul, mind, and strength to Him, our orphan spirit can remain. Our hearts still wrestle with grasping His love because we are here on this Earth and not in the physical presence of our Father . And if you're like me and spent the first 20 years of life developing a foundation of belief that what you do in life determines where you end up in eternity, the idea of grace and favor and the Father's delight over His children is so often a difficult concept to truly abide in. 

Almost six years ago, the Lord began to heal within me a deep longing to understand my Lord as my doting Father. He used the divorce of my parents and the ripple effect of that event to draw my heart into healing and the casting out the orphan spirit I carried within. 
In the years since that event, the Lord has rewritten my dependence upon Him and my understanding of His love. He has truly pursued me as a groom pursues His bride, and these last several months have been a climactic crescendo arising from that season, further confirming His beautiful pursuit me. 

His love has never felt more tangible than in these last few years on this journey of rekindling a love for my Father. 

In order to understand His grace - the very gift of Jesus and salvation - we must first understand His love towards us. How can we accept the unfathomable gift of grace on the Cross if we don't understand the Father's heart towards us? How can our hearts truly sigh with the relief of undeserved grace, when we still fear the wrath of God or the judgement of His gavel. We can't. We can't understand that His wrath is satisfied if we don't first understand the gentleness and kindness and patience and unending love of a Father who stands with arms wide open and eyes full of delight towards those who choose Him. 
In order to understand grace, we must first understand love. His love. 
This last week I have been the most emotional mess. I am, at any given moment, a complete mix of giddy joy and the most emotionally wrecked person on the verge of tears. This week we have experienced the most tangible earthly example of undeserved grace I have ever experienced in my life. And what perfection that it come on the end of a season of leaning deeply into the arms and love of my Father. 

In the last two weeks, we have witnessed the Lord's most abundant display of grace - a real-life tangible example of it. He has completely wiped out our debt. He has completely set us free from the bondage of financial debt, and He has moved us from the place of scarcity to a place of complete and utter abundance. He has done for us financially exactly what He did on the Cross for us spiritually. When He died on the Cross, He moved us from scarcity to abundance.  From distance to security. From burden to freedom. From disconnected to the most abundant love possible. AND IT HAS WRECKED ME {in the most beautiful way!}! 

Do you struggle to wrap your mind around he abundance grace of the Father? Do you have a hard time understanding what grace truly is? Do you have a hard time accepting the gift of Jesus' death for you? Then start with His love. Start by leaning into your Father. Start by reading His Word and asking Him to reveal His heart to you. Ask Him to show you His heart towards you, His bride. You are His delight. You are His joy. You are simply that...His. 

Understanding grace comes through the lens of love. 
I believe it isn't possible to fully grasp His gift of grace if we still don't understand His love. We can understand Him as Lord, surely. That's an easy place for most of us to reside. But have you opened your heart to the loving kindness of your Father- the One who stands with arms wide open and eyes full of delight fixed upon you? Start there. Start by learning of His love for you. And who knows, maybe...just maybe your heart will be primed to more wholly understand and see His magnificent gift of undeserved grace in your life.
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before and after...

4/14/2019

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 You guys. We no longer own our home! Which is crazyyyyy and amazing all wrapped up in one! We are SO excited for a new season, and we are equally as excited to hand our home over to a sweet new family to love. We are living here still for a couple of more weeks, and then we will move to our new home, which we are super excited about! {For the full story of why we are downsizing and moving on, go here}.  

We bought this home 8 years ago. We were young and so in love with the idea of returning this former foreclosure to the beauty we envisioned it to be! We saw it's incredible potential. Even now as I look back on old pictures I wonder HOW?!?! HOW did we see what it could become!?!?! Ha! But God is good, He gave us rose-tinted glasses and exactly the money we needed to make her livable and loveable again!

For the first two years of living here we poured our energy, time, and hard work into scrubbing, painting, rebuilding, sanding, replacing. Even now as I think back on those first two years I wonder how we had the energy to do what we did...but I wouldn't trade those memories of working side-by-side with J for anything! Between dog-peed carpets, a broken railing, exposed electrical work, and so many other little safety issues this home wasn't baby-safe when we moved in...and so we had to work our tails off to make it safe again. We were motivated to make it a family-safe home because we wanted to bring our babies home to this house. And that we did!  And here we are just 8 years later handing it over to another family to love because God told us to, and we were eager to obey!

​We have such sweet and precious memories here, and lately, the memories from those early years are all coming back to the surface. I thought maybe you would enjoy a little before & after tour along with me as I walk down memory lane! I can't wait to give you a glimpse into this journey of making this house a home.

​Here we go...

The Family Room: 

Oh, 90's mirrors and red brick fireplace. I'm SO glad you're gone!



​The Office:

More mirrors. Ugh. Technically this is the formal dining room {notice the doorway to the Butler's Pantry/kitchen...}...but we decided to make the Sunroom the dining room instead. This allowed for us to have a "library" on the main level. We called it the office or library...but it often got confusing because my office was upstairs. SO...um, here's the first floor office. ;)

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when your house is on the market {and you have kids}...

4/3/2019

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​You guys. Selling a home isn't easy. I thought selling our first home with just a pup 8 years ago was hard. But this time around it was a little bit more of a shuffle with two kids and the pup and a much bigger home.  

This time around I really had to think through some systems and short-cuts to help be show-ready whenever we needed to run out of the house. Here are a few tips for those with young kids trying to sell their home! 

1. Clorox wipes - I DO NOT normally use chemicals in our home. At all. But fresh smelling bathrooms is a bonus for buyers and sometimes you just have to clean up FAST and get out (especially if you have a little boy with sporadic aim!).
2. Limit bathroom use - if you have a big house like ours, limit the number of bathrooms your people can use. Right now our kids are sharing the master bath with us, this leaves their hall bathroom spotless! They too aren't supposed to use the basement bathroom. It's just for a short time, so everyone is fine with it. 
3. Keep snacks in the car so you're always ready to run out without having to remember to grab snacks for your little monkies!
4. Diffuse essential oils each morning to help your home have a yummy smell to it - and to wipe out any stanky diaper smells. I've been diffusing lavender, because who can be offended by lavender?!? 
5. Make it an adventure for your kids; check out new parks, new libraries, new lunch spots. Making it a fun adventure makes the whole process fresh and exciting and reduces the stress for your kiddos! We had picnics and checked out the newest library in our county! 
6. Involve everyone in preparing for showings! Little man and J (my husband) both had specific jobs  to help get us ready. Even baby girl (2.5 yo)  got involved with prepping for a showing. We would turn on some music and make it fun! {Dancing makes everything fun, doesn't it?} 
7. Communicate to your realtor that you need 2 hours to get ready for showings. This was key for us! 
8. Paper plates are SO helpful! We don't use paper products here, not at all (outside of toilet paper, ha!)...but during showings we threw that rule out to make things easier and quicker!
9. Budget for a few meals out or make freezer meals before you go on the market!

Selling a home is not easy. It can easily be stressful, in fact some level of stress is almost guaranteed. Hopefully these tips will help make it slightly less intense, and maybe even a {dare I say...} enjoyable :) 



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sitting in the tension

4/3/2019

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The little old man who rides his bike up and down my street every morning.
The UPS man who knows our names and gives treats to our pup. 
Friends in every corner of the neighborhood. 
Weekly neighborhood Bible study down the street with some of the most precious women. 
Countless family walks and pool time with friends. 
The trash man who stops and vigorously waves to our kids as he dumps our trash into the back of his truck. 
​The school bus that screeches to a halt at the stop sign right out our front windows at exactly 7:35am each morning. 
The white picket fences, American flags, and quaint parks.
​

This neighborhood has been the most precious gift to our family. It truly does feel like something straight out of a vintage TV show. 

And this house. Oh this house. Tears stream as I think about the memories here...

Years of painting and sanding and fixing and rebuilding what had been neglected before our time. 
Bringing our babies home to their beautifully curated nurseries. 
Hours and hours of giggles and playtime and snuggles.
Gatherings, parties, and countless celebrations. 
Our son meeting Jesus and devoting his life to Him. 
Moments when hard phone calls came, where the tears were shed, where hurt was worked out. 
New jobs, new business, new beginnings, new hobbies. 
Early mornings with my Jesus pacing the floor in prayer. 

This home has been the most incredible life-giving safe-haven for our family. This neighborhood has gifted us with the most precious relationships. And as we move towards closing on the sale of our home, I can't even begin to describe the wrestle that is happening within me. I see and trust and know that joy and adventure are to come. I see and trust and know that we are walking in complete obedience to what God has asked us to do. But man, sometimes obedience feels more like sacrifice then I'd like to admit. Sometimes obedience doesn't make sense, it doesn't feel comfortable. 

Over the years of living here we have often reflected on God's grace in moving us here. We've reveled in His goodness to bring us to a home, to a neighborhood, that has such peace and quiet and holiness despite the bustling, politically-charged location surrounding it.  We had no idea what we were gaining when we emptied our small Uhaul full of belongings into this big home just a few years into marriage. 

A few weeks ago, I was reading through 2 Samuel. When I got to chapters 18 and 19 I could feel the tension within David as he fled the pursuit and betrayal of his own kin, Absalom. His deep desire to see the Lord's people prevail in keeping control of their beloved Jerusalem, mixed with his own feelings of deep grief over the safety of his son poured out on the page. I could feel the tension. And when David learned of his son's death, he cracked. He grieved. He wept. He mourned. But then he was reminded that he was king and he needed to show gratitude to those who risked their lives to protect him and their beloved city, and so he did. He got up, he wiped off the tears and he obediently did the hard thing that was necessary. He obeyed God, and his kingdom was blessed because of it.

My grief and wrestle aren't nearly on the same scale as that of David's, yet I can relate to the tension of wrestling with feelings that oppose each other. The excitement and the hope and the joy that I know is to come in our next adventure mixed with feelings of grief over walking away from a house and neighborhood that holds precious relationships and memories I long to hold close. There is a deep feeling of sacrifice in obeying God by selling our home, yet hope is just around the corner. Hope lingers so closely as I await news of what our next adventure will be. Faith is being walked out as we sit with open hands before Him hearts postured in worship knowing without a doubt that He has the details of our season and story written out before the dawn of time. 

Obedience and sacrifice may feel like loss. Tension sits at the foot of those words, creating this wrestle between the new and the known, the comfortable and the adventure. But the beauty of obedience and sacrifice lies in the hope that is to come. Christ sacrificed his very life and body out of obedience, and what came resulted in His glory and resurrection. I am beginning to see that being called to obedience and sacrifice is what births seasons of growth and nearness to our Lord. 

And so, with hope, I will continue to feel the tension. I will continue to walk through the tension. I will continue to walk forward knowing with all of my heart that obedience and sacrifice bring about glory and resurrection. 


​

Follow along with our journey as we move on Facebook and Instagram. 
​{{For more on why we are moving, read here.}}

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redemption

3/12/2019

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There has been a consistent theme written throughout my life. A theme only the Lord could weave throughout my story. 

Redemption. I am drawn to stories of redemption. I read stories of redemption. I long to be a part of stories of redemption. My very life is a story of redemption. 

I love a story of a former alcoholic who was led through brokenness to recovery and into a life singing glory to God. 
I love stories of weight loss transformation - freedom, health, hope, all wrapped up in someone's journey. 
I love stories of homes - formerly beat up and broken, restored and given new life. 
I love antiques in all of their imperfections - restored or reused, made beautiful all over again. 

Beauty to ashes. Hope from the brokenness. 

My very own story is one full of brokenness; one that is laden with pain, fear, and mistakes. One that was redeemed at the age of twenty when I met my best friend and Savior. And His work wasn't done there on that day when He captured my heart. His redemptive work has continued on in my heart each day since. Sanctification truly is a redemptive work, isn't it?

He's woven within my heart a desire to live in redemption, share about redemption, and partake in other's redemptive stories. 

It's part of why I love refinishing furniture. It's part of why I've loved recovering our former-foreclosure. 
It's part of why I have a heart for the brokenness of so many third-world nations. 
It's part of why I love helping women recover their physical and emotional health through healing their gut. 
It's part of why I studied counseling, and theology, and education: because redemption occurs when those three come together. 
It's why I so purposefully see hope for all people, why I can see the beauty beneath their brokenness so very easily. 

This life, it's about redemptive hope. It's woven throughout each of our stories. Even if the redemption is yet to come, even if the redemption is still buried beneath pain and heartache. It is there. 

The Gospel is hope and redemption lived out in the flesh by our Savior. It's His story of redemption, and it becomes our story of redemption when we allow Him to captivate our hearts with it. 

Our lives are stories of renewal. Our lives are made up of little and big stories of hope. A day restored, a year restored, a relationship restored, a heart restored, a moment restored, a life restored. A world restored to Him. There is hope, no matter the situation. There is beauty in the ashes. Always.

I'm so very excited to be working on a project that will launch in just a few short weeks. One that puts my search and love of redemptive stories before the eyes of anyone who is willing to engage in it with me.  Go follow my Facebook page HERE so you won't miss a thing! 
I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief;  and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen." - 1 Timothy 1: 12-17
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the weight of debt.

3/3/2019

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Did you know that debt isn't normal? Or at least it shouldn't be. It's not supposed to be.

A quick stat search finds that; "The average American household carries $137,063 in debt, according to the Federal Reserve's latest numbers. Yet the U.S. Census Bureau reports that the median household income was just $59,039 last year, suggesting that many Americans are living beyond their means". And check this out: "Americans may soon have as much credit card debt as they did during the Great Recession. The average U.S. household owes $16,061 in credit card debt, up from 10% from $14,546 from 2006, according to an analysis released by personal finance company NerdWallet". 

Debt has become the norm, but it's not supposed to be. 

Life is hard and messy and sometimes debt needs to happen. Sometimes it just is. There is zero judgement from me to you  if you carry debt. Lord knows we are there. But here's why I believe we should fight against debt with everything we've got...

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pray. breathe. recite.

3/1/2019

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This post was originally published over at More to Be several years ago when I was a contributing writer on that site. I'm breaking it out of the archives hoping it will bless you today. Enjoy! 

​It was one of those mornings. I was running late, my hair was frizzy from the rain and awful humidity by just 8:45am, and the voice message I received wasn’t a good one. I was already disappointing someone, I could tell.

Sigh. 
​

It was a rough morning, and I could tell the day wasn’t going to get any better. I hated walking into this building, working in this space; this building, it’s where my attitude was negative, the Lord felt distant, and some of the people, well, they weren’t my favorite (just sayin’). I was about to spiral down, down, down into a place where negativity turned my perspective ugly, selfish, and tainted.

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staging your home to sell: some tips

2/26/2019

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When you're getting ready to sell your home, it is very important that you think about how it is staged. I am by no means a professional stager, but I have some tips to share with you if you're gearing up to put your house on the market just like we are. 

The goal of staging is to help a potential buyer who comes into a home to be able to see the home with as few distractions as possible. It's meant to highlight the best and most beautiful parts of a home. It's meant to show a potential buyer how they can use the space. And most of all, it's meant to help a potential buyer picture themselves living there. 


Here are some of my top tips...

1. De-personalize {is that even a word?!?!} - 
Put away your baby's pictures and your family portraits. Put away those gorgeous wedding canvases. All of it. This is a strategy that helps the buyer start to envision themselves living in your home {instead of staring at your family on vacation in Hawaii and picturing you living there}. So here's how we de-personalized...

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who do you allow to speak into your life?

2/22/2019

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I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I can't help but send you off into the weekend thinking about this too...

Who do you allow to speak into your life? Who do you let pour their thoughts, words, energy into your days?

It matters. Do you realize how much it matters?

Over the last year I have spent significant time digging into the heart of who I am and what I believe about myself. I have done some deep emotional work with the Lord seeking to understand a lot of junk that swims around in my head. And one of the things that I kept coming back to as I did this deep heart work, is recognizing where these lies and limiting beliefs and fears stem from. And consistently, almost without fail, I realized a lot of these things were spoken over me, spoken to me, spoken of me. A lot of what I had come to play in my mind about myself actually came from the mouth of others. 

Somehow I allowed the world's words, the influence of others, to be louder then the Truth of who I am as an adopted daughter of the One True King. 

As much as I hate to admit this truth about myself, as much as I hate to admit it here before you, I know that a writer's job is to write out the wrestle. For it is in the wrestling out loud that other's can better grasp their own disconnect. It is in my vulnerability that other's can see. 

And so I ask you again, Who do you allow to speak into your life? Who do you let pour their thoughts, words, energy into your days?

Because it matters.

Of course we are called to have space for everyone; to love everyone, even {and especially} the broken. BUT there is a difference between serving and receiving. We are called to serve everyone, but we are not encouraged to receive from everyone. 

For far too long I have received from a few who weren't life-givers, cheerleaders, hope-dealers, truth-speakers. In fact there have been a few individuals pouring into my life who just weren't healthy at all. I didn't give them much space, but the space they took, even that was too much. Those that don't fill our cup, those that consistently drain it, our hearts need protection from them. We need healthy boundaries with those that are unhealthy. We can serve them, but we should not receive from them. You wouldn't look in a cup of gross dirty water and then knowingly drink it, would you? We need to be wise in who we allow to fill our cup, to influence our heart, to speak into our mind. 

Make note of how you feel when you leave someone's presence, especially someone who you are giving freedom to speak into your life. If you leave their presence and consistently feel drained or hurt or discouraged or insecure. This is telling you something. If you leave someone's presence and feel depressed or angry or guilty. This is telling you something.  Do a heart-check. Pray. Journal. Talk with your Lord about this person. Here are a few questions to ask the Lord in your time with Him: Is this my issue/sin making me feel this way or is this their issue/sin making me feel this way? Is this person giving me life or is this person draining life from me? Give the Lord space and time to answer you. Pray. Read His Word. Be before Him. He will show you. 

Sometimes those speaking words and feelings of pain into our life are those closest to us. This is when it gets hard, this is when it gets heavy. But I have come to accept that when we allow someone to speak into our life who isn't healthy themselves, we begin to reflect them; we soak in their words, we are pulled down into their murky water. They make us unhealthy with them. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to knowingly waste even one day of my life in an unhealthy spot. 

At the foundation of a healthy follower of Christ should stand the Word of God. The Word of God should be the most powerful influence in our days. Outside of that, wise-counsel and life-giving truth-believing godly friends and mentors should be one of the few other influencers in our days. Build friendships with people who are truth-speakers, life-givers, hope-dealers. Surround yourself with people who will cheer for you to follow God's call on your life. Surround yourself with people who are full of joy and full of light. Those are the ones who should be speaking into your life. Release those who hand you a cup of murky water. Serve them, love them, but politely hand their cup back to them, and send them on their way. Don't let them speak into your life. 

Let's boldly bring those pouring into our lives before our Lord. Let's ask Him to show us who can be granted permission to speak into our lives. May the peace and truth of Christ rule in your heart, mind, and soul this weekend, my friends. Do the hard heart-work necessary to root out the lies of the enemy placed there to hold you back. 
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