Over the last couple of months we have experienced quite possibly the most significant season of answered prayer in our lives thus far. If you've been following along with our journey on social media, you've seen me share over and over again how the Lord just keeps showing up in big ways. For whatever reason, the Lord has chosen this season to unwrap gift after gift of answered prayers before our family. And you know what's amazing? He's been preparing us for this for a while. 

Some of the prayers He's answered recently have been those we've prayed for months and yearrrrs at a time. And honestly, I now see that had He answered those prayers even weeks or days earlier, our hearts wouldn't have been ready for them. His timing is perfect and His lessons are always timely.  

I believe that we all have an orphan spirit, meaning we are born separated from our Father in Heaven and our hearts long to be brought back into a right relationship with Him. 

Even after we come to know our Jesus and we devote our heart, soul, mind, and strength to Him, our orphan spirit can remain. Our hearts still wrestle with grasping His love because we are here on this Earth and not in the physical presence of our Father . And if you're like me and spent the first 20 years of life developing a foundation of belief that what you do in life determines where you end up in eternity, the idea of grace and favor and the Father's delight over His children is so often a difficult concept to truly abide in. 

Almost six years ago, the Lord began to heal within me a deep longing to understand my Lord as my doting Father. He used the divorce of my parents and the ripple effect of that event to draw my heart into healing and the casting out the orphan spirit I carried within. 
In the years since that event, the Lord has rewritten my dependence upon Him and my understanding of His love. He has truly pursued me as a groom pursues His bride, and these last several months have been a climactic crescendo arising from that season, further confirming His beautiful pursuit me. 

His love has never felt more tangible than in these last few years on this journey of rekindling a love for my Father. 

In order to understand His grace - the very gift of Jesus and salvation - we must first understand His love towards us. How can we accept the unfathomable gift of grace on the Cross if we don't understand the Father's heart towards us? How can our hearts truly sigh with the relief of undeserved grace, when we still fear the wrath of God or the judgement of His gavel. We can't. We can't understand that His wrath is satisfied if we don't first understand the gentleness and kindness and patience and unending love of a Father who stands with arms wide open and eyes full of delight towards those who choose Him. 

I believe it isn't possible to fully grasp His gift of grace if we still don't understand His love. We can understand Him as Lord, surely. That's an easy place for most of us to reside. But have you opened your heart to the loving kindness of your Father- the One who stands with arms wide open and eyes full of delight fixed upon you? Start there. Start by learning of His love for you. And who knows, maybe...just maybe your heart will be primed to more wholly understand and see His magnificent gift of undeserved grace in your life.
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 You guys. We no longer own our home! Which is crazyyyyy and amazing all wrapped up in one! We are SO excited for a new season, and we are equally as excited to hand our home over to a sweet new family to love. We are living here still for a couple of more weeks, and then we will move to our new home, which we are super excited about! {For the full story of why we are downsizing and moving on, go here}.  

We bought this home 8 years ago. We were young and so in love with the idea of returning this former foreclosure to the beauty we envisioned it to be! We saw it's incredible potential. Even now as I look back on old pictures I wonder HOW?!?! HOW did we see what it could become!?!?! Ha! But God is good, He gave us rose-tinted glasses and exactly the money we needed to make her livable and loveable again!

For the first two years of living here we poured our energy, time, and hard work into scrubbing, painting, rebuilding, sanding, replacing. Even now as I think back on those first two years I wonder how we had the energy to do what we did...but I wouldn't trade those memories of working side-by-side with J for anything! Between dog-peed carpets, a broken railing, exposed electrical work, and so many other little safety issues this home wasn't baby-safe when we moved in...and so we had to work our tails off to make it safe again. We were motivated to make it a family-safe home because we wanted to bring our babies home to this house. And that we did!  And here we are just 8 years later handing it over to another family to love because God told us to, and we were eager to obey!

​We have such sweet and precious memories here, and lately, the memories from those early years are all coming back to the surface. I thought maybe you would enjoy a little before & after tour along with me as I walk down memory lane! I can't wait to give you a glimpse into this journey of making this house a home.

​Here we go...

Oh, 90's mirrors and red brick fireplace. I'm SO glad you're gone!

More mirrors. Ugh. Technically this is the formal dining room {notice the doorway to the Butler's Pantry/kitchen...}...but we decided to make the Sunroom the dining room instead. This allowed for us to have a "library" on the main level. We called it the office or library...but it often got confusing because my office was upstairs. SO...um, here's the first floor office. ;)

​You guys. Selling a home isn't easy. I thought selling our first home with just a pup 8 years ago was hard. But this time around it was a little bit more of a shuffle with two kids and the pup and a much bigger home.  

This time around I really had to think through some systems and short-cuts to help be show-ready whenever we needed to run out of the house. Here are a few tips for those with young kids trying to sell their home! 

1. Clorox wipes - I DO NOT normally use chemicals in our home. At all. But fresh smelling bathrooms is a bonus for buyers and sometimes you just have to clean up FAST and get out (especially if you have a little boy with sporadic aim!).
2. Limit bathroom use - if you have a big house like ours, limit the number of bathrooms your people can use. Right now our kids are sharing the master bath with us, this leaves their hall bathroom spotless! They too aren't supposed to use the basement bathroom. It's just for a short time, so everyone is fine with it. 
3. Keep snacks in the car so you're always ready to run out without having to remember to grab snacks for your little monkies!
4. Diffuse essential oils each morning to help your home have a yummy smell to it - and to wipe out any stanky diaper smells. I've been diffusing lavender, because who can be offended by lavender?!? 
5. Make it an adventure for your kids; check out new parks, new libraries, new lunch spots. Making it a fun adventure makes the whole process fresh and exciting and reduces the stress for your kiddos! We had picnics and checked out the newest library in our county! 
6. Involve everyone in preparing for showings! Little man and J (my husband) both had specific jobs  to help get us ready. Even baby girl (2.5 yo)  got involved with prepping for a showing. We would turn on some music and make it fun! {Dancing makes everything fun, doesn't it?} 
7. Communicate to your realtor that you need 2 hours to get ready for showings. This was key for us! 
8. Paper plates are SO helpful! We don't use paper products here, not at all (outside of toilet paper, ha!)...but during showings we threw that rule out to make things easier and quicker!
9. Budget for a few meals out or make freezer meals before you go on the market!

Selling a home is not easy. It can easily be stressful, in fact some level of stress is almost guaranteed. Hopefully these tips will help make it slightly less intense, and maybe even a {dare I say...} enjoyable :) 

The little old man who rides his bike up and down my street every morning.
The UPS man who knows our names and gives treats to our pup. 
Friends in every corner of the neighborhood. 
Weekly neighborhood Bible study down the street with some of the most precious women. 
Countless family walks and pool time with friends. 
The trash man who stops and vigorously waves to our kids as he dumps our trash into the back of his truck. 
​The school bus that screeches to a halt at the stop sign right out our front windows at exactly 7:35am each morning. 
The white picket fences, American flags, and quaint parks.
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This neighborhood has been the most precious gift to our family. It truly does feel like something straight out of a vintage TV show. 

And this house. Oh this house. Tears stream as I think about the memories here...

Years of painting and sanding and fixing and rebuilding what had been neglected before our time. 
Bringing our babies home to their beautifully curated nurseries. 
Hours and hours of giggles and playtime and snuggles.
Gatherings, parties, and countless celebrations. 
Our son meeting Jesus and devoting his life to Him. 
Moments when hard phone calls came, where the tears were shed, where hurt was worked out. 
New jobs, new business, new beginnings, new hobbies. 
Early mornings with my Jesus pacing the floor in prayer. 

This home has been the most incredible life-giving safe-haven for our family. This neighborhood has gifted us with the most precious relationships. And as we move towards closing on the sale of our home, I can't even begin to describe the wrestle that is happening within me. I see and trust and know that joy and adventure are to come. I see and trust and know that we are walking in complete obedience to what God has asked us to do. But man, sometimes obedience feels more like sacrifice then I'd like to admit. Sometimes obedience doesn't make sense, it doesn't feel comfortable. 

Over the years of living here we have often reflected on God's grace in moving us here. We've reveled in His goodness to bring us to a home, to a neighborhood, that has such peace and quiet and holiness despite the bustling, politically-charged location surrounding it.  We had no idea what we were gaining when we emptied our small Uhaul full of belongings into this big home just a few years into marriage. 

A few weeks ago, I was reading through 2 Samuel. When I got to chapters 18 and 19 I could feel the tension within David as he fled the pursuit and betrayal of his own kin, Absalom. His deep desire to see the Lord's people prevail in keeping control of their beloved Jerusalem, mixed with his own feelings of deep grief over the safety of his son poured out on the page. I could feel the tension. And when David learned of his son's death, he cracked. He grieved. He wept. He mourned. But then he was reminded that he was king and he needed to show gratitude to those who risked their lives to protect him and their beloved city, and so he did. He got up, he wiped off the tears and he obediently did the hard thing that was necessary. He obeyed God, and his kingdom was blessed because of it.

My grief and wrestle aren't nearly on the same scale as that of David's, yet I can relate to the tension of wrestling with feelings that oppose each other. The excitement and the hope and the joy that I know is to come in our next adventure mixed with feelings of grief over walking away from a house and neighborhood that holds precious relationships and memories I long to hold close. There is a deep feeling of sacrifice in obeying God by selling our home, yet hope is just around the corner. Hope lingers so closely as I await news of what our next adventure will be. Faith is being walked out as we sit with open hands before Him hearts postured in worship knowing without a doubt that He has the details of our season and story written out before the dawn of time. 

Obedience and sacrifice may feel like loss. Tension sits at the foot of those words, creating this wrestle between the new and the known, the comfortable and the adventure. But the beauty of obedience and sacrifice lies in the hope that is to come. Christ sacrificed his very life and body out of obedience, and what came resulted in His glory and resurrection. I am beginning to see that being called to obedience and sacrifice is what births seasons of growth and nearness to our Lord. 

And so, with hope, I will continue to feel the tension. I will continue to walk through the tension. I will continue to walk forward knowing with all of my heart that obedience and sacrifice bring about glory and resurrection. 


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Follow along with our journey as we move on Facebook and Instagram. 
​{{For more on why we are moving, read here.}}

There has been a consistent theme written throughout my life. A theme only the Lord could weave throughout my story. 

Redemption. I am drawn to stories of redemption. I read stories of redemption. I long to be a part of stories of redemption. My very life is a story of redemption. 

I love a story of a former alcoholic who was led through brokenness to recovery and into a life singing glory to God. 
I love stories of weight loss transformation - freedom, health, hope, all wrapped up in someone's journey. 
I love stories of homes - formerly beat up and broken, restored and given new life. 
I love antiques in all of their imperfections - restored or reused, made beautiful all over again. 

Beauty to ashes. Hope from the brokenness. 

My very own story is one full of brokenness; one that is laden with pain, fear, and mistakes. One that was redeemed at the age of twenty when I met my best friend and Savior. And His work wasn't done there on that day when He captured my heart. His redemptive work has continued on in my heart each day since. Sanctification truly is a redemptive work, isn't it?

He's woven within my heart a desire to live in redemption, share about redemption, and partake in other's redemptive stories. 

It's part of why I love refinishing furniture. It's part of why I've loved recovering our former-foreclosure. 
It's part of why I have a heart for the brokenness of so many third-world nations. 
It's part of why I love helping women recover their physical and emotional health through healing their gut. 
It's part of why I studied counseling, and theology, and education: because redemption occurs when those three come together. 
It's why I so purposefully see hope for all people, why I can see the beauty beneath their brokenness so very easily. 

This life, it's about redemptive hope. It's woven throughout each of our stories. Even if the redemption is yet to come, even if the redemption is still buried beneath pain and heartache. It is there. 

The Gospel is hope and redemption lived out in the flesh by our Savior. It's His story of redemption, and it becomes our story of redemption when we allow Him to captivate our hearts with it. 

Our lives are stories of renewal. Our lives are made up of little and big stories of hope. A day restored, a year restored, a relationship restored, a heart restored, a moment restored, a life restored. A world restored to Him. There is hope, no matter the situation. There is beauty in the ashes. Always.

I'm so very excited to be working on a project that will launch in just a few short weeks. One that puts my search and love of redemptive stories before the eyes of anyone who is willing to engage in it with me.  Go follow my Facebook page HERE so you won't miss a thing! 

This post was originally published over at More to Be several years ago when I was a contributing writer on that site. I'm breaking it out of the archives hoping it will bless you today. Enjoy! 

​It was one of those mornings. I was running late, my hair was frizzy from the rain and awful humidity by just 8:45am, and the voice message I received wasn’t a good one. I was already disappointing someone, I could tell.

Sigh. 
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It was a rough morning, and I could tell the day wasn’t going to get any better. I hated walking into this building, working in this space; this building, it’s where my attitude was negative, the Lord felt distant, and some of the people, well, they weren’t my favorite (just sayin’). I was about to spiral down, down, down into a place where negativity turned my perspective ugly, selfish, and tainted.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I can't help but send you off into the weekend thinking about this too...

Who do you allow to speak into your life? Who do you let pour their thoughts, words, energy into your days?

It matters. Do you realize how much it matters?

Over the last year I have spent significant time digging into the heart of who I am and what I believe about myself. I have done some deep emotional work with the Lord seeking to understand a lot of junk that swims around in my head. And one of the things that I kept coming back to as I did this deep heart work, is recognizing where these lies and limiting beliefs and fears stem from. And consistently, almost without fail, I realized a lot of these things were spoken over me, spoken to me, spoken of me. A lot of what I had come to play in my mind about myself actually came from the mouth of others. 

Somehow I allowed the world's words, the influence of others, to be louder then the Truth of who I am as an adopted daughter of the One True King. 

As much as I hate to admit this truth about myself, as much as I hate to admit it here before you, I know that a writer's job is to write out the wrestle. For it is in the wrestling out loud that other's can better grasp their own disconnect. It is in my vulnerability that other's can see. 

And so I ask you again, Who do you allow to speak into your life? Who do you let pour their thoughts, words, energy into your days?

Because it matters.

Of course we are called to have space for everyone; to love everyone, even {and especially} the broken. BUT there is a difference between serving and receiving. We are called to serve everyone, but we are not encouraged to receive from everyone. 

For far too long I have received from a few who weren't life-givers, cheerleaders, hope-dealers, truth-speakers. In fact there have been a few individuals pouring into my life who just weren't healthy at all. I didn't give them much space, but the space they took, even that was too much. Those that don't fill our cup, those that consistently drain it, our hearts need protection from them. We need healthy boundaries with those that are unhealthy. We can serve them, but we should not receive from them. You wouldn't look in a cup of gross dirty water and then knowingly drink it, would you? We need to be wise in who we allow to fill our cup, to influence our heart, to speak into our mind. 

Make note of how you feel when you leave someone's presence, especially someone who you are giving freedom to speak into your life. If you leave their presence and consistently feel drained or hurt or discouraged or insecure. This is telling you something. If you leave someone's presence and feel depressed or angry or guilty. This is telling you something.  Do a heart-check. Pray. Journal. Talk with your Lord about this person. Here are a few questions to ask the Lord in your time with Him: Is this my issue/sin making me feel this way or is this their issue/sin making me feel this way? Is this person giving me life or is this person draining life from me? Give the Lord space and time to answer you. Pray. Read His Word. Be before Him. He will show you. 

Sometimes those speaking words and feelings of pain into our life are those closest to us. This is when it gets hard, this is when it gets heavy. But I have come to accept that when we allow someone to speak into our life who isn't healthy themselves, we begin to reflect them; we soak in their words, we are pulled down into their murky water. They make us unhealthy with them. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to knowingly waste even one day of my life in an unhealthy spot. 

At the foundation of a healthy follower of Christ should stand the Word of God. The Word of God should be the most powerful influence in our days. Outside of that, wise-counsel and life-giving truth-believing godly friends and mentors should be one of the few other influencers in our days. Build friendships with people who are truth-speakers, life-givers, hope-dealers. Surround yourself with people who will cheer for you to follow God's call on your life. Surround yourself with people who are full of joy and full of light. Those are the ones who should be speaking into your life. Release those who hand you a cup of murky water. Serve them, love them, but politely hand their cup back to them, and send them on their way. Don't let them speak into your life. 

Let's boldly bring those pouring into our lives before our Lord. Let's ask Him to show us who can be granted permission to speak into our lives. May the peace and truth of Christ rule in your heart, mind, and soul this weekend, my friends. Do the hard heart-work necessary to root out the lies of the enemy placed there to hold you back. 

​I don't make my home beautiful because I want to show off or attract eyes or comments.  In fact, I often get uncomfortable when people gush over my home. The beauty I create within my walls, it has meaning, it has purpose, it is intentional. My home is a place where I desire for life to be given, hope to be formed, faith to be practiced, and love to be poured out.  I desire for our home to be a place where my children long to be. I desire that for as long as I live, my children will come and find rest and peace and love within our walls. I long for it to be a place where they can taste the goodness of their Heavenly Father and receive rest from the world on their weariest of days. A few years ago I read The Life Giving Home by Sally and Sarah Clarkson. Their words gave form to the desires of my heart. They articulated exactly how I have always desired for my home to feel, and they so very much captured how I feel when I go to visit my in-laws.