Welcome back, my sweet friends. I'm so glad you're on this journey with me. Yesterday we talked about how important our health is. It truly is imperative that our health is a firm foundation from which we live out our lives - it truly effects how we show up in our calling and roles. Our health isn't the rock that we stand on, no, we know only One who is our Rock. However, it truly allows for us to live as we were created and designed to live - fully and abundantly in relationship with Christ and with others.
Today I want us to talk about how important it is to take an honest assessment of our health. It's so easy to float through life in a fog - disconnected from the true state of our physical body. I did that for years. It wasn't until I took some time to be fully present, aware, and in tune with my body that I was able to be fully honest with myself. Will you let me coach you through the process of taking an honest and {grace-filled} look at your body? This process isn't meant to lead you to a place of body-shaming yourself. I'm praying fiercely you don't translate your health check-in as shame or regret or pain - but instead to be used as fuel to the fire you need to move forward within your health journey. Set aside some time and walk through these steps. Turn off your devices, make sure you are alone, and bring a journal and pen with you. It's important you take notes and journal as you walk through these steps. Step #1 - In a private room, take off all of your clothes. Everything. Do NOT stand in front of a mirror yet. Just stand there in the room and breathe deeply. Step #2 - Take note of every part of your body - from your head to your toes - and ask yourself the following questions
Step #5 - Find a long-mirror and do a visual assessment. {This is not the time to beat yourself up over your appearance. Be kind and gentle with yourself.} Look in the mirror and ask yourself the following questions. Journal your answers.
Truly take some time to check in with yourself and your body. Journal your thoughts and feelings as well as very honest answers to these questions. This honest look at your health isn't made to diagnose anything. I pulled this together to help you check-in with yourself. Maybe it'll point you to a need for checking in with your doctor, or maybe it's just a starting point that will help you have a baseline for your journey. I did this before I started my own health journey. This was very much a wake-up call for me. Here's my health story. Wherever this check-in brings you, I hope that it is helpful as you begin to think through where you are in your health and where you would like to be. I truly believe that the enemy of our souls longs to have us walk around in sick and tired bodies - rendering us less effective and insecure in our bodies and roles and callings. I truly believe he longs to paralyze women in their effectiveness in the Kingdom of God through the sickening of our physical bodies. Walking around tired and sick and achey isn't normal. It's not supposed to be normal. It doesn't have to be your normal. We will continue to talk through this this month.
1 Comment
Welcome back, sweet friends! I need to make sure I say this right up front - I AM NOT A CHEF OR COOK - in fact, I'm not even very good or confident in the kitchen. However, I have learned that the secret to enjoying CLEAN and WHOLE foods is to learn how to spice with other CLEAN and WHOLE ingredients. Vegetables don't have to be bland. Clean snacks don't have to be boring. But it is ESSENTIAL that we are feeding our bodies clean and whole ingredients!
I haven't always had this perspective, and I certainly haven't always eaten as clean as I do. In fact, I look back on even just a few years ago and I cringe at what I consumed. But isn't that part of this life we live? Learning and growing and being shaped and molded into better versions of ourselves constantly. That's what it's all about, and that's certainly what intentional living is all about, isn't it? So here I am this not-so-much-of-a-cook- AT- ALL sharing my favorite veggie recipes and healthy snacks in hope that it will inspire some other non-cooks to try something new, seek out healthier options, and deep dive into learning as I have been! Roasted Veggie Recipes: Roasted Green Beans: Clean and cut/snap the ends off of the green beans. Place on a cookie sheet. Squeeze a half of a lemon on the green beans. Sprinkle Dill all over the green beans. Toss and spread out on the cookie sheet. Roast for 12 minutes at 450 degrees. Roasted Brussel Sprouts: Clean and cut off the stem of the brussel sprouts. Cut in half and spread onto a cookie sheet. Sprinkle avocado or olive oil, rosemary, and garlic powder over the brussel sprouts. Toss together. Roast for 15 minutes at 450 degrees. Roasted Cauliflower and Broccoli: Clean and cut cauliflower and broccoli into sprigs. Sprinkle with avocado or olive oil, garlic powder, and thyme. Roast for 12-15 minutes at 450. (I like them slightly blackened, so I usually let them roast for at least 15 minutes) Roasted Garbanzo Beans: Drain and clean a can of organic garbanzo beans. Sprinkle with avocado or olive oil and garlic salt. Roast for 15 minutes at 400. Mandy's Favorite Snacks: Sliced Tomato with Trader Joe's "Everything but the Bagel" spice sprinkled on top. Banana with almond butter. Apple with cinnamon. Nuts: Pistachios, almonds, pecans, and/or walnuts. Dried fruit WITHOUT added sugar. My favorite is dried mango. Sunflower seeds Sliced fruit. Veggies with hummus. Air popped popcorn with a tiny bit of honey sprinkled on top.
For years I lived on a rollercoaster when it came to my health. For years I struggled to get my body balanced and to find a rhythm in my pursuit of health. But one of the most significant lessons I've learned in the last few years is that we must take our head out of the sand in regards to our health. It's so easy to go through life in a cloud of disconnect - disconnected from the reality of the state of our body. It's so easy to go through the motions of life distracted from the truth. That is certainly how I lived my life for 35 years - not fully in tune with my physical body and it's state. I didn't listen to the signs my body was giving me, and I ignored exhaustion and aches and pains chalking them up to normal parts of aging (in my 30's! HA!). It wasn't until I took an honest assessment of where my body was at that I realized how very far from healthy I had slid.
Now that I help people on their health journey I see that this "head in the sand" mentality is completely normal. This is the way many many people live - disconnected and unaware of the true state of their bodies. Maybe that's how you feel? Maybe that describes you? Trust me, there is ZERO judgement when I call out that way of living. ZERO. Because girl...I can relate. Imagine me giving you a sisterly hug with tears in my eyes saying...."GIRL....I FEEL YOU" because that where I was just a few short years ago and my heart aches with understanding. Here's the Truth - The Lord has given you this one body. A body that He created and designed and breathed into existence. It wasn't an accident, He very much DESIGNED you. He daily sustains you. He daily provides for you. He truly cherishes you and looks at you with adoring love-filled eyes. Truly. He plays a role, but so do we. We are called to steward our bodies for His glory and our good. We are called to care for our body as it is the very temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 3:16). We are called to care for this physical body He gave us, and yet too often we forget that charge and responsibility and we treat it with such frivolity. No one else is responsible for your body, only you are. And although I do believe the chemical and hormonal state of our bodies do often make it hard for us to take charge and care for our body, the truth of the matter is that it is most often our own fault that our body has spiraled into the state we are in. Not always, but often. And so, when you know more, you do more. Right? When we talk about living a life of intentionality, one of the starting places must be with our health. It truly is a foundational piece to living a life of freedom and abundance. How can we live fully into our roles as follower of Christ, Mom, wife, employee, etc. if we aren't feeling at our best? Did you know that the top leaders in the world most often hold their health in the highest regards? It's because they see the direct correlation between their health and their ability to love and serve and go and do all the big things they dream of! Living fully into who you are and what you're called to do must start with you taking care of your physical body. {Sidenote: clearly spiritual and mental health play a significant and equally as important role...but we will talk about those later this year}. In many ways this health journey hasn't been easy for me. I've had to fight to create healthy habits. Some areas of health are certainly easier for me then others - but I can't help but want to share what I've learned and some of the health practices and products I now use. I'm still on my journey, still always looking for ways to learn and grow and improve the care of this body I've been given, but I am grateful for the progress I've made thus far. This month I'll share with you all about food journaling, food prepping, portion control, supplementation, exercise, products I use on my body, and ways we've gone green in our home in order to better serve our planet and our bodies...and SO much more! One of the first things we will do {tomorrow!!} is to do an honest {grace-filled} personal assessment of our health and the state of our body. This won't make you feel shameful, but instead I hope it'll give you a baseline for where you are starting (or continuing on from) as you head into the month in the hopes of intentionally leaning into a better and more focused health journey. My hope is that you will come away from this month more focused on WHY your health is important and empowered with new tools and products to help you do just that! I hope to gently, gracefully, and lovingly help you pull your head out of the sand and help you on your journey towards greater health! I'm grateful you are here, and I'm excited to be on this Intentional Living journey with you! February is going to be AMAZING!
One of my favorite things to do when decorating my home is to think outside the box. I have a desire to have my home look different then anyone else's. I want my space to be unique and eclectic. I have things like tree stumps and old tool boxes and old suitcases incorporated into my decor. I literally have an industrial electrical spool on casters as a coffee table. I have old milk crates and old dusty books on my book shelf. I have old chippy antique ceiling tiles on my wall and old broken chippy windows in several places. I like old, character, unique and authentic. I like a piece that tells a story - a story from what it was initially used for, and a story of where and when I acquired it! Some people would walk in my house and question why I have a plant in an old manual ice cream making bucket. But here's the thing, it's me. It's totally us. Make your space YOU. Make your space for your family.
It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful
- Myquillin Smith
I truly believe that your space doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. Sure my house is sprinkled with pieces that I love, but there are also things I would discard if I could. We have these chairs that once belonged to my Grandparents. They aren't antiques, they aren't really that old. They are SUPER comfy...but quite ugly. I hate the look of them, but we used to not have the money to replace them, and now we just don't want to put money towards furniture when we don't know where we may move and when. So for now, it's better to have these chairs, then to not. But in my eyes, they aren't perfect. I could analyze them until I drive myself nuts and then end up dragging them to the curb one afternoon, or I could just decide...it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. It truly doesn't. Not every piece in your home has to be a perfect reflection of you. Overtime you may be able to replace certain things you aren't crazy about, BUT at the end of the day, we have SO much to be grateful for if we are simply concerned over not loving the comfy chairs we have sitting around in our home (Amen?). So, forget the idea of perfection in design. Most people don't have the luxury of curating a perfect space - but that in no way makes your space less than. It's still beautiful.
If you want to find out some of my favorite places to shop as of late...head on over to Instagram and watch my stories today! There I'll share my favorite places to hunt for cool and unique pieces. Follow along there.
I believe that getting crystal clear about your vision for your home is the first place to start when beginning a journey to decorate (or redecorate) your space. Don't just run to the store, friends - That usually ends up wasting your resources and your time - and it so often can make your space feel disjointed and inconsistent! Today we're going to talk about creating a foundation in your room and we're also going to talk about the #1 thing you can do to change the feel of a room overnight - for very little money!
But, before we dive in...did you see this post? The activity given in this post is ESSENTIAL to helping you design a cohesive space, it's essential to helping you focus on how you want your space to feel and look. Read this first! As I've said a million times before, I am SO far from being a designer. I don't know the right lingo and I certainly don't know how to do the amazing things that designers do. However, I know how to make a space beautiful, and from my own experience of playing around with rooms and spaces I've come to realize some design tips that I can share to help you maximize your space. If you didn't catch my Instagram Stories yesterday about intentionally decorating your home, you probably missed the two tips I shared. I'll share those here too because I really don't want you to miss those either... Tip #1. Don't do a complete overhaul. Don't overwhelm yourself, and don't blow your budget (don't have a budget but still want to redecorate? Read here). Start small. Start in the place that is the heart of YOUR home. Maybe that's the family room where you spend time snuggling on the couch. Maybe that's the kitchen where you cook for hours each week to lovingly prepare meals for your family. Maybe that's the master bedroom where you have sweet moments with your husband as you build a marriage of communication and trust. Where ever you deem as the most important space to you in this season, start there! Tip #2. Use a life-line! Don't go this alone. If you don't have an eye for design (soooo many people tell me they don't think they do!), then pull in a friend. We all know someone who is creative and has a beautiful home. Ask them to help you! They may not feel comfortable being your designer...but they would most likely be eager to let you bounce ideas off of them (especially after you compliment them on their gorgeous home ;)! Invite them over and tell them your ideas. Show them the 3-5 words you desire to use as your filter to define your space (go here if you have no idea what I'm talking about!) and then let them give you their feedback or ideas. Show them the pieces you like that you found online or inspiration you found on Pinterest. Get their ideas and feedback. They may have fresh new insight to help you along on your journey. What a gift to have their input! Once you've defined your space, chosen where to start, planned out your ideas, and gotten feedback from a trusted friend. Then you are FINALLY ready to shop and begin to make changes. BUT before we get to the actual shopping part (which we will talk about tomorrow), let's first talk about how to make the biggest impact on your space through building a neutral and classic foundation first. Here is my #1 tip for you to help you build a time-tested room that transcends your style changes, moods, and even seasons: When you're purchasing new large-ticket items....go NEUTRAL! I believe that as we intentionally design a space, one of the best things we can do is to create a neutral foundation. Yes, there is absolutely space for a fun and funky piece, but most people's homes should start with a neutral foundation - especially if you don't have unlimited room in the budget to do a complete overhaul when you tire of that funky piece you purchased for a large amount of money just a few years earlier. So, my best advice? Start with a neutral base - especially for those large ticket items like couches or a dining room table, etc. Adding fun and colorful throw pillows, dishes, art, blankets, area rugs, etc. will help you add your favorite pops of color or quirky style to your home. But for those large ticket items...stick with the neutral and simple colors and lines, this will be the key to having a space that transcends time as your personal style changes! Pillows, art, area rugs...they can be changed more easily. Large pieces of furniture build a foundation and are harder to replace. Think carefully about large item purchases, sticking with classic pieces. Want to know the biggest way to change your room's look and feel over night? PAINT! Paint makes a huge impact! - I live in a funky color house right now (we are proud renters!) and it has made me even more convinced that neutral walls are the way to go - for ME! BUT...you may loveeee colors, and that is amazing! The thing about paint? It isn't very expensive and it makes a HUGE impact! HUGE! You can instantly change the look and feel of a room through a $40 can of paint! Sure it takes time and work to paint...but goodness, there really is no better way to impact your space to reflect who you are! As I said in the beginning of the month, it isn't necessary (or wise!) to do a complete overhaul of your home this month! Take your time. At the root of everything I'm sharing with you this month, my heart is eager to remind you that you can steward your time and resources more fully if you first step back and intentionally pause before moving forward in certain areas with more intention; and design is a perfect example of that. Pause, reflect, define, ask for opinions...and THEN move forward with SLOWLY redesigning your space. Tomorrow we will talk about my favorite shopping spots, my favorite accessories to fill my home with, and how imperfection is part of what makes your home beautiful! What space are you most excited to start with?? Comment or send me a message! Don't forget to join the conversation on Instagram.
One of the number one questions friends ask me when they visit my home is, "will you please help me decorate my house?". What a humbling thing to hear them ask, because truly, I'm not a designer. And do you know what my answer usually is? "I'm not sure I can". Because the truth? I can decorate MY house - I've got my own style down, but I'm not sure I can decorate someone else's home. I'm not sure I can pin down another's style and reflect the vibe they long to create within their walls. Helping others design their homes? That scares me. I do, however, have a tip that I often use to help friends better define their own style, and that's what I want to share with you today!
I believe that designing your space is about first defining how you want your home to feel and look. It's about creating a space for you and your people {and even your guests} that fosters the feelings you want to evoke. It's about first doing some foundational work, not just going shopping. I believe one of the biggest mistakes people do when they are designing (or redesigning a space) is to just start moving furniture around, hanging things, and heading to the store. I believe design should first start at the foundation -with building an intentional plan and vision. We must first define what look you are longing to create and that's where we will begin. So how do you do that? You first spend some time in reflection, you ask yourself and journal through these questions... What feelings do you want to evoke in your space? How do you want your people and your guests to feel? What do you value most in your home? After you've journaled a little, spend some time daydreaming about what that space would visually look like. Even spend some time browsing Pinterest to begin to give you a vision of what you like and what you don't like; what you want to feel in your space and what you don't want to feel in your space. Once you've spent some time in reflection and enjoyed a bit of dreaming about what you want your space to feel like, I believe you can begin the next step - defining your filter. You create a filter by choosing 3-5 words to help articulate how you long for your space to look/feel. What 3 - 5 words would you use to describe the space you want to create? These words will help you define your space more clearly. They will become the filter through which all of your purchases and changes are sifted through. Here is a list of words to help you get started. Warm Cozy Farmhouse Chic Classy Formal Casual Rustic Natural/organic Clean Bright Energizing Cute Colorful Classic Modern Eclectic There are SO many other descriptive words you can add to this list (what would you add, share in the comments!) What words stood out to you? Which words defined how you want your space to feel and look? For me, I know that it is important to us that our space reflects these words; warm, cozy, casual, rustic, and natural/organic. These words have become my filter. I filter ALL purchases and ALL items that come into my home by these words. So, if I see a pillow in Home Goods that I like, I first ask myself, "Is this warm and cozy? Is it natural or rustic? Is it casual?" If the answer is no, then it doesn't go in my home. If I look at a pillow and think, "aww that's cute", that most likely wouldn't go in my home (unless it would go in my daughter's room :) because "cute" isn't a word that I want my home to reflect. {Zero judgement if that's your word, to each his own, right?!} These words become the defining words of your space and they help you to zero in on whether or not something belongs in your home or not. By having a consistent filter you will better be able to design a home that has a consistent feel and that evokes the feelings you long to birth in your people (and your guests) when they are within your walls. It's easy to want to grab your purse and run to the store when you're ready to design your space, but I would encourage you to do some intentional focused reflecting and defining work before you run out to the store! What words do you want to use as your filter? Please share in the comments!
I believe that at the root of having an organized home, you'll find freedom. Intentional living isn't about rules, it's about setting up life with purpose and a plan in order to build freedom into life; and that's what I believe an organized home does!
I believe that having an organized home helps with three major things: 1. It helps decrease searching and chaos. You don't need to look for your car keys, because every morning they are in the same place. You don't need to go searching for a pen, because you know exactly where you can find one (or many). It gives you time freedom, and it allows for you to know exactly where you can find your things. 2. It helps with the budget. When you know what you have and what you need, you don't buy duplicates. When you know what you have in storage or in the pantry, because everything has a place, you know more easily what you do and don't need at the store each trip. 3. It allows for your family to help you, and it sets them up for success. When your people know where things go and have the expectation that items go back where they belong as soon as you're done using them, they begin to take ownership and it's easier to enlist their help! Organization doesn't have to be complicated. You don't need to spend a ton of money on organizational systems and tools. It does take time and it does take effort, but ideally, once you've set up a system, it's fairly easy to keep that system going - as long as you stay on top of it (but we'll talk about that later this week!). As you begin to organize the things in your home, my recommendation would be to ask yourself these questions of each item as you place it in it's permanent home: 1. Does this item have a specific purpose in our home? 2. Does this item make sense in this room/drawer/space? 3. Where do I most need/use this item? Make note of what you have or need (as we talked about last week!) and keep don't forget to purge that clutter. You will find more and more to purge as you organize. This isn't a once and done process. This isn't an overnight process. This is a thing that takes time and work, but I truly believe that it is so very worth it! If you are a person who struggles to see how a space can be organized, enlist the help of a friend! Some people just don't have that vision or gift, and that is OK! You don't have to have alllll the gifts, BUT you can pull your people and ask for their help - and then you can serve them in an area where you thrive in return! Creating an organized space isn't overly complicated, it just takes spending time filtering through your possessions, and thinking through the best resting place for it. Then you've just got to keep it up....we'll talk about that next! Are you a naturally organized person??? If yes, tell me your favorite space to organize! If not....who do you plan to enlist to help you get your space under control?
The beauty of being an adult and having our own space is that we are in charge of what comes in and goes out of our space. Although everything we have is a blessed gift from the Lord,
{ The earth and everything in it, the world and its inhabitants, belong to the Lord. – Psalm 24:1 } this doesn't mean that we just sit back and let the responsibility of our space and things manage themselves. We have been called to care for our domain. We have been called to steward what we've been given. { Honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest. – Proverbs 3:9 } And I've found that the best way to do this is to make sure that I am FULLY aware of everything in my home. {Sidenote: I'm sure this is easier in some seasons then others. I don't have kids that are old enough to really be coming and going with things that I don't know about. I'm sure this will change. So keep that in mind and recognize that your season may look at little different, BUT that isn't a reason why you can't still manage most of the spaces in your home. You are the one who teaches them how to steward their things properly, right?} I keep control over our spaces by making sure that everything has a home. For example, scissors and tape and glue have a very specific resting place in our home. My daughter's hair ties and bows have a specific home, they aren't just haphazardly in every drawer and space. Everything has a home and an organizational system (we'll get to that next week!), and my people (for the most part) know exactly where everything goes. To be honest, my kids are better at this then my husband, he's not wired to remember where everything goes (especially when I am constantly reassessing and moving things to new locations that make the most sense for each season), but they all do their best and make sure to ask if they don't already know. We live fairly minimally in our home. We don't have multiples and we don't stockpile a lot. We do this by not shopping a lot (but that's a whole different conversation!). For example, I don't believe in stockpiling a tissue box for each room of the house. It's rare that we all have runny noses at the same time, so we have one tissue box. It has a specific home in the laundry room closet, and we pull it out whenever someone needs it. There is no need to have 5 + open tissue boxes in our home - that just adds to the clutter. Sure I buy things in bulk, like toilet paper, but for the most part, we are very discerning about how much of what item comes into our home. We keep lists of items we want or need and we are discerning about when it comes into our home. This helps our spending habits, but it also keeps clutter down. I don't just buy something when I want it. I add it to my list and marinade on it for a while. We make lists when we go shopping and we stick to the lists. If I see something I want, I'll add it to my list, I don't just impulse buy. Of course we aren't perfect at this, but we consistently work towards creating this habit. A good way to keep those wish lists and needs lists handy is by using your phone. I have a private Amazon list of items we can get on Amazon. I also use the notes section of my phone to keep a list of items I need to pick up the next time I'm at Target. We don't frequent Target or Costco. We grocery shop once a week, and maybe visit those other stores once every 6 weeks. We have switched over to a lot of online shopping (with free shipping options) in order to lessen how much we go into stores. This helps us from acquiring more things in our home! As you're decluttering your home, I want to encourage you to start making lists. Make lists of items that are broken and need to be replaced. Make lists of items you wish you had. Don't just buy those items, add them to a list. Keep good lists, marinade on what you really need versus just want, and be discerning when you buy new items for your home. Another item of note as you're coming off of your decluttering mission, is to find a local organization you believe in where you can donate your newly discarded items. Be discerning about who you give your donations to as some places are for-profit and not non-profit. I don't know about you, but I want to donate my items to a location that will resell my items for the good of others, not for the good of some corporation. If you are in the process of paying down debt and/or need to make some extra money, hosting a yard sale or open house sale is a good way to help discard some of your items and make a little bit of extra money towards your financial goals. Here are some tips for that. Being a discerning gatekeeper over your domain is super important to begin to cultivate that home culture you desire to have. You do not have to live as simply as I described that we choose to live, you need to find what works best for your family, but overall, my hope and desire for this series is that you will begin to think more clearly and intentionally about your home. My hope is that you will begin to think of it as a space that you can and should have control over. Your home doesn't have to feel chaotic, and truly taking the time to walk through these few easy steps can help you being to better manage your space and ultimately the culture of your home. If you aren't already following along, I want to encourage you to hop over to Instagram and follow the journey there. I'll be sharing daily in my Instagram Stories about our home and even giving you glimpses into how we manage our home.
I'm hoping that you spent some time yesterday in reflection of the culture and rhythms you'd like for your home to reflect. If you missed yesterday's post, please take some time to go back andread that here. It truly sets a foundation for where we are heading this month!
Often times when we do an assessment of what our ideal home would feel like and reflect, we quickly recognize that our home's current state is not in line with where we want to be. AND THAT IS OK! There is grace for that, there is time to get there. Although we are only spending a month on the topic of building an intentional home, that in no way means that you need to leave this month having perfectly curated the exact atmosphere you desire to create. I believe we could spend an entire year on this topic, and yet we only have a month together. SO as we move through this topic fairly quickly, please bookmark steps and challenges you desire to pour over more deeply. We are literally talking through decluttering in just a few days, and for some, this process may take months. That's ok, there is zero pressure to keep up with the fast pace with which we will be moving. Give yourself grace, and move at your own pace - just don't shut down and check-out - continue to walk this journey and discussion with us but walk through the challenges at your own pace. I believe that one of the first steps to aligning your desired home outcome with where you currently are will most likely begin with purging. We have a culture of too much stuff in our western world, and too much stuff can quickly and easily make us feel overwhelmed and chaotic. I hold a deep belief that everything should have a place and a purpose within our walls. This lesson was deeply ingrained in me again just this past spring. After we sold our home, we had a moving sale in order to get rid of all of the extras we had acquired as we were downsizing to a smaller home with far less storage. Over the 8 years we had lived in that home, we had acquired too much that I was not using, too much that were other people's things offloaded onto us, too much that was just honestly unnecessary. I quickly realized that I needed to be a more discerning gatekeeper as to what I will allow within our walls from that day forward. And that I have become. I recognized that much of what we were holding onto - items that were unused - were items I didn't regularly use. We had a lot of "just incase" items under our roof and I felt like we would feel more freedom without them (as the more stuff you have, the more things you have to manage), and that someone else would benefit from us donating all the excess. And so we did. We got rid of the extras. I didn't need 30+ wine glasses for my once-annual Wine and Chocolate party, I gave away the majority of those (keeping just enough for a few extra visitors) and instead realized I could borrow from a neighbor for that once-a-year event. And that's exactly what I did this year. I would venture to guess that most of the items in American's closets, storage, and drawers fall into the category of "just incase" or "someday", and that's what we've tried to eliminate from our home. Most of us have the social network to be able to borrow or the resources to repurchase in the off chance that that "someday" becomes a now and necessary thing. And so, with that in mind, I want to encourage you to be VERY discerning and VERY ruthless with your purging as we walk through this decluttering process over the next few days. If you grow anxiety or concern over simply discarding or donating something you fear you will need in the future, I encourage you to pull out a box. Store those items you fear you will miss in a box and put them away in your garage or storage area of your home. I would venture to guess that you won't be surprised when they are still tucked away in that box a year later and you haven't thought about them once. Those "just incase" items take up space in our closets and - whether you realize it or not - energy from our life. And so, I want you to set aside some time to declutter, to purge. Be ruthless, but take your time. Go through each drawer, each closet, each cabinet. Bring boxes and trash bags to each room, to each space, as you methodically move from drawer to drawer and closet to closet asking yourself the following questions... 1. Do I use this item regularity? 2. Does this item have a specific purpose in our home and in our lives? 3. Do we actually NEED this item? 4. Does this item contribute to the atmosphere I'm trying to create? If the answer is no, I want to encourage you to put it aside in those boxes and bags. You can always reassess these items again later, but for now, be ruthless and pull those things out. For sure discard broken and stained items that you are holding onto. There is no need to hold onto an item that you won't actually use again. For a little more guidance about where to start, below you will find listed the top 5 areas of your home to begin purging!
For some, the practice of purging and decluttering is not an easy one. I recognize that. If you find yourself struggling to part with items that you know you actually don't need, I would encourage you to invite a friend to help you with the process of purging. Share your wrestle with them and see if they can help you work through it.
This isn't a process that will happen overnight, especially if you're burried in a lot of stuff within your walls. Set aside time each day, or some time each week to work through this process. Invite your family to help with this process. It truly is freeing to declutter and purge unused items that are taking up space in your life, I promise you that! Tomorrow we will talk about how to better manage what comes into your home and about discerning between what we need versus what we want.
Whenever I start talking about being intentional in an area of my life, I worry that other's may start to think I'm reaching for perfect. You see, I realize that having systems and routines and rhythms for life aren't everyone's cup of tea. I recognize that some personalities see it as restraining, making them feel claustrophobic in life. But you see, I believe it does the exact opposite. I believe there is freedom - time freedom, financial freedom, relational freedom - when we lean intentionally into areas of our life. It takes out the chaos and leaves space for curation of our domain - the areas of our life we have been told by the Lord to steward wisely.
Intentional living isn't about being perfect, it's about maximizing our resources to the best of our ability, stewarding what we've been entrusted with well. Each month in the year 2020, I long to link arms with you and walk forward towards living more intentionally in our lives - our homes, our health, our finances, our relationships, our routine. I don't have it all figured out, I certainly live more intentionally in some areas then in others, but I'm hoping that we can grow together towards stewarding our domains better for His Glory, and ultimately for the most important gift we've been given; in our relationship with Jesus. And this month, January, I'd like to start by discussing the beauty and rest that comes with building an intentional home. Your home doesn't need to be perfectly curated. Your home doesn't need to reflect a magazine cover. Your home needs simply to be an expression of you, a reflection of you, a space to welcome others into your life, and ultimately your heart. This month I don't want to focus on the {oh so important} topic of curating intentional relationships with those who live under our same roof. We will get to that in a few months. But for this month I want us to focus on the actual physical feel curated within our walls. I have a deep belief that our home culture, rhythm, and relationships will be effected by the physical space around us, and so that's why we are starting there; with taking an intentional look at the atmosphere that is created under our roof because of the things around us. My home is a place where I desire for life to be given, hope to be formed, faith to be practiced, and love to be poured out. I desire for our home to be a place where my children long to be. I desire that for as long as I live, my children will come and find rest and peace and love within our walls. I long for it to be a place where they can taste the goodness of their Heavenly Father and receive rest from the world on their weariest of days. These are things I value, hopes I have, and the very reason why I spend time cultivating a home feeling, rhythm, and culture that leans in the direction of beauty and rest, known expectations, and an importance on relationships and abundant family time within our walls. We aren't perfect at it, sometimes we hurt each other's feelings and sometimes the chaos of the world crosses over our threshold; but we fight to keep our heart's desired values and hope-filled outcomes at the forefront of our family culture. For our home, I've found that we all thrive when chaos is at a minimum. I've found that my people are most at rest and our rhythm is most healthy when I am intentional with curating how our spaces are used and what we allow in them. I've also found that both my husband and myself value beautiful things {don't read that as expensive things, because that's certainly not what I'm saying}. We both find rest in a space that is uncluttered, intentionally designed with things we love, and organized enough that every item under our roof has a specific home and purpose. Sure, things slip in, and that is why I very regularly purge and declutter and organize and reassess. And so this leads me to prompt you to truly think about this; what do you value in your home? What do you long to feel {and have your people feel} when they are home? What do you long for your guests to experience when they are within your walls? I believe you will find great value in spending some time articulating for yourself what your desired home culture is. I believe that once we've articulated how we want ourselves and others to feel within our walls, then we can reassess whether or not our space lends itself to creating that desired outcome. For your first challenge this month, I would like for you to sit down with a journal and reflect upon those questions I posed - I will list them again below for you. Spend some time doing an honest assessment and tomorrow we will go from there. 1. What do you value in your home? 2. What do you long to feel {and have your people feel} when they are home? 3. What do you long for your guests to experience when they are within your walls? 4. Do you believe the atmosphere of your home lines up with your desired outcome? 5. What do you believe you would need to do in order to align your desired outcome with your current home atmosphere? Would you share your thoughts below or on social media? Follow along with my daily reflections regarding this Intentional Home content in my Facebook & Instagram Stories! Follow me on Instagram here.
On January 1, 2019 I gave up coffee. For the year. It was purely with the motive to prove my husband wrong.
But for real, it was! haha. You see, for YEARS I have been saying to him how I wanted to quit my coffee creamers. I wanted to stop using those O-SO-DELICIOUS gross-for-you creamers, but I just couldn't drink coffee without them. Probably monthly I would tell him that I was quitting coffee (because what's the point without the creamer!?!), and he'd pretty much come to a place of rolling his eyes and responding, "riiiiiiiiight.". So what does an I'll-prove-you-wrong-don't-tell-me-I-can't do it girl do? She gives up coffee. FOR A YEAR. You see, most people would probably say for a month, or maybe three. Nope, not me...haha. I pull out the big guns and give it up for a year to REALLY show him! {At this point you may think we have a bickering & rash not-so-kind marriage...but I assure you we actually have an AMAZING marriage with barely any disagreements or issues at all, THANK YOU, JESUS!}. Anyway, guys. I did it. I went 365 days without coffee. Ok, minus two times when I was traveling for business and I was SO sleep deprived and he told me "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" and so I got to cheat without it counting against me! {Whew}. So here I am January 2, 2020 and I'm two days back on coffee and it's GLORIOUS! I drink decaf, mind you, but that warmth and flavor (yes, I did go back to creamer - for now- but I chose an almond milk creamer that was as clean as I could find!), it's just dreamy. So what did I learn with this fasting experiment?? I can't wait to share with you! 1. I can do hard things. Period. It may seem funny or silly, but it gave me an odd sense of accomplishment. You guys, I had two babies without any drug intervention - I KNOW I can do hard things - but there was something deeply rewarding about consistently laying down my desire for something over time - time and time again - that was SO empowering. 2. The Lord draws near when we give ourselves up. Fasting - as a Christian - no matter how much or for how long, can truly bring depth and intimacy within your relationship with the Lord. Did I pray when I wanted coffee? You'd better believe it, yes I did. This fasting {for coffee} wasn't that hard for me - I am not a coffee addict per se - but there was a growth that occurred within me through submitting my desires before the Lord, even for a cup of coffee. Laying down my desires was truly a worshipful experience. I can't wait to experience greater depth in the Lord this year as I give up THREE things. More on that in a minute. 3. I learned that my husband likes to say he doesn't think I can do something - just to get me to do that thing - so he can prove to me that I can do it. Does that even make sense??!? So now I sit back and think before I commit to something when he says, "I don't think you can do it". haha. {Side story: Today our 3 year old daughter - who so very much resembles me in personality - went out onto the porch to pick up a package the mailman had dropped off. As she picked it up she said "Oo that's heavy!". J stepped out onto the porch and offered to help her. She immediately looked at him with a determined look and said "I can do it" and sauntered past him carrying the big box. He just laughed and shook his head at me. Remind me NOT to tell her she can't date that one rebel guy she's eyeing one day, ok?! Girl's gonna give up coffee for a year one day, you just watch.} This experience turned out to be a much more fulfilling and sanctifying experiment then I thought it would be! I thought I'd simply enjoy getting to the end of the year and be able to prove to J that I did it - and that that would be the greatest victory. But in all honesty, it lit a fire in me. It revealed to me that I have a desire to continue to lay down things that may hinder my walk with Jesus - I long to stretch my submission muscle and learn more about going to the foot of the cross in a time of longing. I desire to rid my life of all idols and distractions in order for my heart, soul, mind, and strength to become the purest of offerings before my Lord. And so, this year, I'm going to stretch myself even more. This year {drumroll please}... I will be giving up... 1. Wine 2. Chocolate 3. Dairy Wine because I like it a little too much on a Saturday night. Just sayin'. Chocolate because quite frankly this one feels like a stretch with how much I'm exposed to it, with how much women offer it and surround ourselves with it. And a stretch for me feels like the right way to learn sacrifice and the beauty of depending on the Lord in fasting. And Dairy....because I'm pretty sure my body doesn't like dairy, and I LOVE cheese. So if I gave myself a reason to quit it over the long term, it'll help me to see how it really effects my body and whether or not this a long-term change I need to commit to or not. So. There you have it. Wine, chocolate, and dairy. I am grateful that I know my people will hold me accountable - you all did SO well checking in on my coffee fast - thank you for the support! So feel free to check in with me this year. It's amazing to look back and see how fast the year went, but yet...CHOCOLATE! Oh no. Have you ever completed a long-term fast? Tell me your story!
Does the idea of taking down Christmas overwhelm you? Do you put it off as long as possible because you just don't want to tackle the project. Well, friend. Here is your new quick and EASY 5-step system to eliminate your overwhelm! Grab some caffeine, turn on some inspiring and energetic music, and get-it-done!
Step #1 - Take pictures! Before you do any de-decorating, make sure you take pictures of how you set things up this year. This will make next year's process of decorating SO much easier. It too can help you remember what you have and help you plan any changes you want to make next year ahead of time. Document the beauty you created this year, your future self will thank you! Step #2 - Move all of your Christmas decorations into one room. Set aside a room to put ALL of the Christmas decorations in. I always use the dining room for this task. I take down every single decoration and place it all over the dining room table, the floor, and the hutch. I put them together by like item as I move them into the dining room, this helps with the packing up process later. Step #3 - Get organized! Pull out your Christmas tubs and get ready to store away your precious items! Sidenote: If you don't already have some sturdy storage tubs, go get yourself some! I have some strong large red tubs (with lids) that I got from Big Lots years ago for less then $5 a piece (and they are nice big ones!). Walmart and Target provide some great options as well! It doesn't take much money to be able to replace those broken down boxes you've been using for years. This will ensure your decor stays safe from water damage over the years. As you're taking down your Christmas decor, put things in a donate box. This is your time to purge your least favorite Christmas items. What is broken? What are you sick of? Donate it all. Don't store away things you aren't fond of for another year. Get rid of it! Step #4 - Pack it up, sista! Now that all of your Christmas decor is all in one room, bring in those big tubs and pack away everything carefully using bubble wrap and tissue paper. Take your time with this task to ensure all of those precious breakable items are stored away carefully. Step #5 - CLEAN EVERYWHERE! Now that you have removed all of your Christmas decor, it's likely most of your furniture surfaces are clear, or nearly clear. Use this time to do a DEEP clean. Pull out the vacuum and dust rags and get to work. Take the time to vacuum behind and under furniture. I usually use this time to water all of my plants and assess how they are doing as well. It's the perfect time to deep clean the house and prepare for a fresh start to the new year! Then simply pull out those year- round decor items you had tucked away and put them where they belong {or get creative and move some things around!}. Isn't it odd how the simplest tasks can sometimes send us into procrastination and overwhelm?!?! Sometimes it takes a friend to gently nudge you in the right direction to kick your booty into gear {you're welcome! ;) }. SO.. get to work and get it done! There is something fresh and exhilarating about starting the new year off with a clean and fresh slate in your home! During the month of January we are going to focus on cultivating an Intentional Home here on mandyscarr.com. I'd love for you to join us for for the journey!
I love having friends over. I find so much life and joy in creating a welcoming environment and inviting women and their families into my home. For me, it's about creating a space for friendships to form and fellowship to take place. It fills my heart. But do you want to know a secret? I am NOT a girl who loves being in the kitchen.
I don't like making food for others. In fact, I dread it.
So how do I marry those things? How do I marry my desire to have people in my home with the fact that I don't like preparing food, when they seemingly go hand-in-hand?
I work within my gifting. I don't like to spend time in the kitchen. I get anxious and distracted and I don't like feeling like my attention is split between the kitchen and my guests. I want to give my friends my undivided attention, and I cannot do that with food needing to be prepared. I admire anyone who can do both! So, in order to work within those parameters, I plan events, gatherings and parties, that allow for me to be fully present. Everything must be done beforehand in order for me to fully give of myself to my guests while they are here, and so...that is exactly what I do! This was the third year that I've hosted a Ladies Wine & Chocolate Open House. It absolutely fills my cup with joy, and it's SO SO simple! I don't try to make a three course meal or bake warm appetizers. I don't try to pair food with the wine. I stick with what I can do...and I work within my gifting. I spend a few hours the week before baking some special treats (usually simple recipes I've used before), and I purchase some other chocolate treats from a local bakery I trust. I send my man to get us a few bottles of wine, and I ask my friends to bring their favorite bottle to share. Then I spend most of my preparation time on my favorite part, creating a beautiful table and environment for my friends to mingle and indulge, relax and connect. It would be easy for me to focus on my inability to make amazing food. It would be so easy for me to focus on what I'm not able to do and how I'm not able to provide my guests with the food experience I would love for them to have. It would be easy for me to compare myself to those friends I have that are INSANELY gifted in the kitchen and who whip together a 5- course meal with zero sweat or effort. Even the idea of that makes me want to cry! But instead I've chosen to lean into hosting events that fit my gifting. I don't have to be someone else, I just have to be me. Gathering friends and family isn't about being anything or anyone different then who you are. It's about opening your home and more importantly - your heart - to others. Maybe you are an amazing chef and greatly enjoy making meals for friends, that's fantastic, lean in there! Maybe you don't enjoy decorating a table and paper plates are all you can do, that is perfectly wonderful. Hospitality isn't about what you have or what you can physically offer, it's more about who you are to those who come into your home - how you love them when they are in your presence. Hospitality isn't about you, it's about how you make others feel in your home and presence. “The heart of hospitality is about creating space for someone to feel seen and heard and loved. It's about declaring your table a safe zone, a place of warmth and nourishment.”
|